Absolutes Kill Possibilities for Growth
Binary thinking—believing there are only two outcomes, such as win or lose, pass or fail—can be a valuable mindset in professional sports for examples. But in the realm of personal growth, it stifles progress and does more harm than good.
Imagine this: You’ve been training diligently for a marathon for three months. Two weeks before the race, an unexpected injury sidelines you. It’s tempting to label the effort a failure—after all, you didn’t cross the finish line. But is that the real story here?
Absolutely not. Think about what you did accomplish. Your training improved your physical fitness, taught you how to structure and follow a regimen, and built a foundation for future attempts. You’re no longer starting from zero. That’s a win—just not the one you initially envisioned.
The Trap of Binary Thinking
Binary thinking is demoralizing because it shines a spotlight on what’s lacking instead of what’s been gained. It overshadows progress and reinforces the idea that if you don’t meet a singular expectation, you’ve failed entirely.
Yes, you’re allowed to feel disappointed when things don’t go as planned. Honor that emotion. But don’t let it define your experience. Instead, use it as a launching pad. Ask yourself:
What happened?
What can I do differently next time?
What lessons can I apply to other areas of my life?
Every challenge is a chance to learn and grow. Even setbacks can pave the way for future success if we approach them with curiosity and openness.
Moving Beyond Absolutes
If binary thinking doesn’t serve us, what does?
1. Adopt a Spectrum Mindset
Instead of framing goals as “success” or “failure,” think of them as a range of outcomes. Set goals with a low end (minimum achievement), a middle target, and an upper range (moon shot goal). This approach encourages progress while reducing the pressure to be perfect. I talked about it here in this blog post.
2. Be Resourceful
What tools, people, or strategies can help you reach your goals? Reflect on ways to expand your resources. Sometimes, seeking support or exploring alternatives is the breakthrough you need.
3. Pause and Reevaluate
Check in with yourself along the way. Goals are not carved in stone—they should evolve as you grow. Adaptability keeps you moving forward, even when circumstances change.
Celebrate the Journey
Focusing solely on failures or limitations keeps us stuck. Instead, celebrate your achievement and your transformation. Gratitude for your progress creates positive energy that fuels further growth.
This Thanksgiving week and throughout the holiday season, challenge yourself to shift your perspective:
How will you honor the progress you’ve made, no matter how small?
How can you practice gratitude for the lessons learned and the person you’re becoming?
How will you celebrate what you have instead of mourning what’s missing?
Growth isn’t about the final destination—it’s about embracing the journey and the transformations along the way. Let go of absolutes and step into possibility!
Written by Jomel Reyes Losorata with the help of AI